Hey! I’ve already talked about forgiving others… but you know what was the hardest skill to learn? Self-forgiveness. I find it way easier to excuse other people’s behavior than to forgive myself. Have you ever felt like your mistakes were a permanent mark on your soul? Something you’d never ever shake off? I certainly have. For a long time, I carried the weight of my own errors like an anchor, letting them hold me back from truly moving forward. But over time and after gazillions of experiences, I’ve learned that forgiveness is not just possible – it’s necessary. I’ll tell you a bit about my journey and how I turned my mistakes into life lessons.
I used to be incredibly hard on myself my entire life. It came from low self-worth after growing up with an abuser. Every misstep, no matter how minor, felt like a failure. I would develop overthinking and replay scenarios in my head, wishing I could turn back time and make different choices. This constant self-criticism up till today still affects my confidence and happiness but I’ve done a tremendous amount of work to learn how to let things go and forgive myself. One particular mistake will be haunting me for years. I had gone into a relationship with a person absolutely ignoring all the red flags about him. And I spent a lot of years trying to make it work but failed miserably. The fallout was devastating, and I couldn’t forgive myself for causing so much hurt to myself. I kept thinking, “If only I had waited longer, understood more and checked him more” This “if only” mindset became a toxic loop that I couldn’t escape.
The turning point came when I stumbled upon a quote by Maya Angelou: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” It struck a chord with me. I realized that my past actions were a result of who I was at the time, with all my imperfections and limitations. Holding onto guilt was like punishing a past version of myself who didn’t know any better.I decided to seek help for myself and started my own therapy. It has become a safe space for me to explore my feelings and understand the root of my self-criticism. Through reading, exploring, listening and talking to a counselor, I learned that forgiveness is a process, not an instant fix. It requires patience and kindness towards oneself.Slowly, I started to view my mistakes not as failures but as opportunities for growth. That failed relationship? It taught me the value of vetting your partner, communication and the importance of managing my emotions. I learned to pause and reflect before reacting, a lesson that has improved all my relationships and friendships ever since.I also began journaling and e-mail writing to my best friend. Poor thing had to go through pages and pages of heartbreak and tears. I’m forever thankful to her for it! Writing down my thoughts and feelings helped me process my emotions and see patterns in my behavior. It was a way of holding a mirror to myself, and while it was sometimes painful, it was also incredibly liberating.
One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is the power of self-compassion. We are often our harshest critics, but we deserve the same kindness and understanding that we readily offer others. I started practicing self-compassion by treating myself as I would a dear friend— with empathy and encouragement rather than judgment and blame.Forgiving myself has been a journey of embracing my imperfections. I’ve come to understand that mistakes are a natural part of being human. They don’t define me; instead, how I respond to them does. By turning my mistakes into life lessons, I’ve been able to grow and evolve into a better version of myself.
One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is the power of self-compassion. We are often our harshest critics, but we deserve the same kindness and understanding that we readily offer others. I started practicing self-compassion by treating myself as I would a dear friend— with empathy and encouragement rather than judgment and blame.Forgiving myself has been a journey of embracing my imperfections. I’ve come to understand that mistakes are a natural part of being human. They don’t define me; instead, how I respond to them does. By turning my mistakes into life lessons, I’ve been able to grow and evolve into a better version of myself.
Now, when I look back at my past, I see not just the mistakes but also the resilience and growth that came from them. I see someone who is learning and striving to be better each day. And that, to me, is what self-forgiveness is all about.If you’re struggling with self-forgiveness, remember that it’s a journey unique to each person. Start by acknowledging your mistakes, understanding them, and then letting them go. Embrace the lessons they offer and use those lessons to shape a brighter future. If you need more understanding of self-forgiveness please watch this video.
Remember, you are not your mistakes. You are the person learning from them, growing, and becoming stronger. Forgive yourself, because you deserve it.
Take care & catch you soon!
Love yourself everyday!
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